ok crew elections just ended and congrats to the people who got in - adrian, mingwen, weiyang, wuhui, junyi, dhanes, rafiqah, zhuming, aiksoon, ryan, luk, weibin, terence, lynn and chong!

of course, that is to say that i dint get in. i wld be lying if i said i wasnt disappointed cos i was a lil actually, especially after i managed to FINALLY make up my mind those few minutes before voting started. i know i've been damn undecided all this while even though i claimed, on many occasions, that i've decided already only for many of you to hear me getting panick attacks soon after and going through the entire deliberation process again arriving at no productive conclusion anyhow lol. the 4-going-on-to-5 hours of elections today was a really mentally tormenting (seriously!) experience cos even while i was sitting there among the other candidates waiting to deliver our election speeches, i was still undecided whether this was what i really wanted to do and the fears i had earlier on came back to daunt me. there were many times i wanted to give up i actually came up with plans to back out of the elections but i cant say how glad i am to have managed to talk myself out of the fears and convinced myself to take up this personal challenge. i gotta say that this must have been the toughest decision of my life thus far! i'm glad i dint back out halfway; i wld have hated myself if i had done so. yup so i stayed on and i'm glad to say that i was able to put away personal differences and voted true to my knowledge of the people's capabilities.

even though i dint get in, i've learnt a lot from this very short experience alone and believe that i've grown and developed as an individual. even though i dint get in, i guess god (figuratively as a symbol of the higher authority up there since i'm not that religious afterall) must have another (perhaps better) plan for me elsewhere so it may turn out to be a blessing in disguise afterall! and now that i dint get in, i can safely move on to pursue other interests in life which (similar to smux) i've always wanted to try but have not had the chance to do so, without any regrets! so for those who dint get in, dont be too affected by the results! at least we know for sure that we've tried our best and havent let ourselves down!

anyway i really wanna thank the people whom have given me really helpful advice and encouraged me to go for it - yingchun, elvin, guangjun and of course dearest serene who have been putting up with my indecisiveness all this while! THANKS LOADS! i cant say how much i appreciate you guys for your efforts!